Life In The Country ~: 11/1/07

Sorry this has taken so long. This is the last of my story. It was typed with many tears and emotions and took longer than I thought it would.

......continuation and finale.

October 2002

Let me tell you a little about Dr. Rieber, an orthopedic doctor. Out of all our local Dr’s, I wouldn’t have wanted any other one on call that night. It was the other Dr’s that were pushing for me to be sent to Minneapolis. Dr. Rieber was new to our area but had been working with some specialists in a Minneapolis practice prior to coming to South Dakota, so he had excellent training under his belt.

Dr. Rieber decided to admit me into a room for the night and send my ex-rays and MRI to some of his previous colleagues in Minneapolis for advice on the next step for me. They finally moved me off that stinkin hard board and onto a soft bed, however, a lot of sand and dirt moved with me. Again, the pain was there but lessened by the meds. His last words that I remember that night to the staff was “Do not move her!” I remember getting settled into my new room which would actually turn out to be my home for the next fourteen days. Trevor stayed in my room for quite a few of those days, so a portable bed was also wheeled in for him. They set me up with a morphine pump so I could regulate when I could get a better shot of pain medicine then they already had pumping into me.

Shane had come into my room feeling so bad and responsible for what had happened. He apologized so many times to me. I tried to get him to understand that in no way whatsoever did I blame him. It was such a fluke accident; there was no way he could have known it would happen. I promised him I would get back on a horse again someday. However, I never dreamed it would be as hard as it actually was.

I can still remember so clearly my Dad coming in my room that night too. He walked up to my bed and with tears in his eyes and told me he wished it was him laying there instead of me. It meant so much to me to hear him say such kind words. Dad and I have always been close and have had a great relationship. I knew he honestly meant that.

A close friend of my sister had found out about the accident and being such a kind and thoughtful person that she is, she quickly made up ham sandwiches and hot chocolate and coffee and brought it all to the hospital for my family.

I remember lying there that first night so scared to go to sleep. What if I moved in my sleep? I never sleep lying on my back. I’m more of a sleep-on-my-side-or tummy kind of girl so this was not comfy at all. The nurses had to come in every couple of hours and wake me up to check my vitals and check my blood count.

The next morning my family all came and were in my room visiting when in walked Stephanie, a physical therapist. She said that she needed to turn me on my side so that I wouldn’t get any bed sores and to get my circulation going in my body. What? Are you kidding me? Bed sores? I haven’t even been on this bed for 24 hours yet! I told her Dr. Rieber said no one is to move me. My whole family pleaded with her to not move me. She kept insisting that this needed to be done. She said she’d have a nurse sent to talk to Dr. Rieber about it. We found out later he was actually in surgery at the time. In the mean time she was gathering nurses into my room to help move me. I was getting very nervous and very mad because she wouldn’t listen to us. (While I’m typing this my hands are shaking because I can remember this moment so clearly). She placed the nurses all around my bed so that they all held a part of the bed sheet I was laying on instead of actually touching me. Without waiting for the nurse to come back with the information from Dr. Rieber they lifted the sheet so that my body would begin to turn onto my side. As they did this my whole midsection totally collapsed due to the bones not being attached. Naturally, the pain was there and I screamed out loud. They set me down quickly and one nurse went running out of the room crying and Stephanie ran out of the room too.

To say that my family and I were mad would be an understatement. About a minute later, the nurse came back and said Dr. Rieber said not to move me. TOO LATE!! On the back side of the pelvis there are three little holes where the nerves come through the bone. On my pelvis, all those holes had cracks running through them. I was already very, very close to nerve damage and being paralyzed. Also, my pubic bone was free floating; it wasn’t attached to anything. I didn’t need these particular bones being damaged anymore than they already were. Later, Stephanie came in and apologized. Her apology meant nothing to me. We all told her not to do it. I don’t know what she was trying to prove. This was probably more traumatic for me than when the horse fell on me. I didn’t remember what all happened in those few seconds with the horse but with Stephanie I knew the situation with my bones and the pain it would cause. To this day, it still makes me furious what she did. Dr. Rieber was very upset with her as well. Of course since my body and bones moved this meant they had to, yet again, move me back on that board and take me down for another MRI to make sure my bones didn’t get messed up even more. This time, before they moved me they made sure I had plenty of pain medicine to make it easier on me. Thank the Lord my bones weren’t really messed up more than what they had been.

When we got our bills from the hospital, Trevor made sure that we didn’t have to pay for that MRI. I really wanted to sue her butt for the extra pain and everything else I went through because of her, but we didn’t. I still wish we would have tried to do something more about her – like get her fired! I still harbor bad feelings toward her?

The accident happened on Wednesday, the first ordeal with Stephanie happened on Thursday and by Saturday morning it all finally hit me. I woke up that morning crying. I think the whole reality of everything became real to me. My emotions overcame me and I cried most of the day. It was so hard not to be able to hold and barely hug my little 1 ½ year old girl. It was so hard to know what Kale witnessed and not be able to hold him and tell him everything was going to be alright, simply because I didn’t know if everything would be okay. I knew this was all still a big burden on my brother. I knew my husband was going through a lot of stress and agony worrying about me and about our kids. The doctors were still discussing surgery and how to go about everything but no plan was set yet.

My room started to overfill with so many bouquets from friends. Pictures that the kids would color when they came to visit we hung on the walls. The nurses said they’d never seen a room with so many flowers. When someone would walk into my room they’d say it smelled and looked like a flower shop. I loved it! It meant so much to me that so many people cared about me. Trevor brought a little tv that had a vcr built right into it so I could watch movies and someone gave me a tape player to listen to books on tape. It was so wonderful to have these items to help pass the time. I’m not sure of the number of visitors I had over the two weeks but it was amazing.

Finally, on the following Wednesday morning, seven days of laying flat (and NO bed sores I might add) Dr. Rieber walked into my room and announced to me that he was going to do surgery in about a ½ hour. He explained what he was going to do but none of it really made sense to me. It was either this or they would send me to Minneapolis for the procedure to be done. There I was all alone. My family was actually moving cattle that day and Trevor was at work. I didn’t want to go to surgery without anyone knowing or being with me so I desperately made phone calls to everyone’s cell phones. I finally reached my Mom and Trevor and they came up immediately.

When I woke up from surgery I looked down to my waist area and there were these metal rods sticking up about a foot above my body and crossways across my waist. They were all attached to four screws that were drilled down into my pelvis. I began to cry. It still makes me very emotional today. It was so terrible to look at. Dr. Rieber said that this would allow me to be able to move better without my pelvis collapsing every time and allow the bones to heal in the correct place. The whole contraption was called an Exterior Fixator. There was no way to cover it up or hide it.

I had received a card that had a scripture on it that caught my attention.
Isaiah 40:29 He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. It goes on to say vs. 31 those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. I knew these scriptures were just for me. I began to confess them every day and claim my healing. I also began to confess 1 Peter 2:24 He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed. Once I began to say these scriptures every day I never had a feeling that I wouldn’t be able to walk or run again normally. I knew God had healed me and took care of everything when he died on the cross for me. I just kept claiming my healing every day.

When they had taken me down for surgery they moved me to a different bed (when I was put under) which was wonderful since I still had a bunch of sand and dirt under me from the riding arena. I hadn’t been able to wash my hair for a week so it was terribly dirty. It still had the sand and dirt from the arena as well. Since I still had to lye flat this was not an easy task. The gal who did it did a terrible job but at least she got it cleaner than it was.

When I found out that Stephanie was going to be my physical therapist again I told the doctor making rounds (Dr. Rieber was gone a few days) that I really didn’t want her. He basically told me to suck it up and that she was very good at what she does. He’s been known for having no bed side manners. I could have choked him for the way he talked to me.

In the days to follow Stephanie taught me how to place my hands and elbows to assist myself in sitting up. I felt like such a child having to learn all this but I new it was necessary if I wanted to get around. I had one of those bars attached to my bed that had another bar that hung over me that I could grab on to. Can’t recall what they’re called. I was also taught different exercises using that bar and a little elastic band that could help increase the muscle tone and strength in my legs and arms that I had lost from not moving for so long. What ever the physical therapist told me to do a day I at least doubled it. I was determined to move again.

My occupational therapist told me that if I couldn’t sit on the edge of my bed and brush my hair I couldn’t go home. This meant that I would have to be able to use one hand to balance myself and hold myself in place on the bed while the other hand held the brush. Sounds simple enough but it was very hard for me.

The first time I was able to sit up I was very week and nauseous. My body was not used to being in the upright position. I could only stay up for a few minutes at a time. After a couple of days of just sitting on the edge of my bed (with help) Stephanie decided that I should sit in a chair. Again she had a bunch of nurses come in and slide me onto the chair. She said she would be back to check on me in a bit. I sat there for two hours! They had taken out the catheter to put me in the chair so after this amount of time I had to pee. My body was getting week and I desperately needed to lay down. The nurses couldn’t find Stephanie (turns out she had left the building and forgot about me). They had to get the doctor’s approval before my nurse could put the catheter back in. My nurse was an angel. She was so concerned for me and did all she could for me. Since Stephanie wasn’t there, nobody knew exactly how to get me back into my bed. I was so stressed and had to go pee so bad. I was getting nauseous and my body began to shake uncontrollably. Finally, they reached the doctor and were allowed to put the catheter in. What a relief! I don’t recall how they got me back into bed.

I wasn’t going to mention it but it was part of the whole ordeal. The whole situation with going to the “bathroom” from the very beginning was so terrible. I felt bad for my nurses and what they had to do for me. It was more than embarrassing for me. The catheter was a good thing, however, using a bed pan is an experience I NEVER want to go through again. Even when I finally got home, it became my mom’s job to aid me with this. After a while I was able to use a commode, but that was still disgusting. Someone else always had to empty it for me.

It came time that my insurance wanted to get me out of the hospital. I wasn’t ready. They talked about putting me in a nursing home. NO WAY!! I laid the law down and told them I would never go to one of those. I worked even harder on my exercises so I could maneuver my self better. I finally was able to get my self up and slide onto a wheelchair. Finding a wheelchair that was big enough so that the screws and bars sticking out of me didn’t hit the sides was a task. Dr. Rieber decided that I could probably go home since my mom would be there with me. I was taught how to give myself shots (blood thinner). I was given a good prescription of Vicodin (pain meds). I would have to get a hospital bed along with one of those bars that helped me lift myself up. Trevor had to build a wheelchair ramp, which, was not an easy task. He’d never done such a thing before so he had lots of questions like, what degree of an incline should it have? How wide? He miraculously was able to get the lumber from his work – which they just happened to have lying around. He built it and it worked!

When I was finally able to go home the fresh air felt like heaven. My family had my room all set up for me. I almost didn’t get the wheelchair through the door frame because the chair was so big. I couldn’t get it through the bathroom door. I still couldn’t spend much time in the wheelchair because it was pretty painful to put any pressure on my pelvis. I laid in my at-home hospital bed most of the time. I continued to work on my exercises and get stronger.

Finally I was able to use the wheelchair all the time. Once I had that mastered I moved on to a walker. This wasn’t easy with the bars and screws sticking out of my pelvis. Finally I was able to use crutches, which again, was not an easy task with screws and bars sticking out.

When the day finally came that I had the Exterior Fixator removed I had gone in for a simple check up and Dr. Rieber decided that it could come off. There are no words for the joy that I felt that day. It was basically another surgery and I was put under because they had to take the screws out of my bones. When I came to, I looked down to my pelvis and it was flat. No bars or screws. I cried. It was such an emotional time for me. No more odd looks from people. I could finally hold my kids on my lap and give them a real hug. I could get around without worrying about people bumping into me. I finally looked normal again.

This is a picture of the actuall screws that were screwed into my pelvis. Two on each side. About two inches of the screw is what stuck out of my body and then the bars were attached to that. They stuck out about a foot from my waist. Dr. Rieber let me keep these as a momento. I put the paperclip on there just to give an idea of the size.

I continued to use the crutches for quite awhile. It was still very painful to put too much pressure on my pelvis. For years I couldn’t sit for very long at all. My pelvis became very sore after such a short periods of time. Going to basketball games or softball games, or sitting in a tractor was difficult.

Throughout this whole time not any of Trevor’s family came to visit me. This hurt Trevor too. He and the kids could have used them for support. Thank God my family was there for us. When we finally went to visit his family, Trevor’s sister in law, who never even saw the Exterior Fixator, made a comment about how I should have hung tinsel and Christmas balls from it for Christmas. They all thought it was so funny. This hurt me so bad! How could she make such an awful comment about something she knew nothing about. This was something that was painful enough to deal with. I really found out just how much they all didn’t care about me or my family.

I don’t recall the length of time all this took. Someone told me I should be writing all of it down and taking pictures but I didn’t want to have any memories of it. It was a time in my life I just wanted to forget and move on and never look back. I know now I really should have documented things better. Throughout many years it was so hard for me to go through a day with out visioning the horse falling on me and the whole ordeal with Stephanie. I went at least three years with this going through my mind everyday. After that it was at least every week. Now, it’s a few times a month, but I still get extremely emotional over it all.

I know that God was very active in this whole ordeal. I healed so quickly and I know it was because of Him. After five years, I am finally back to my self. However, if I sit on a hard surface very long, I still get very sore. I give God and Dr. Rieber all the credit for mending and healing me. I am so happy I can walk, crawl, run, jump, play basketball and softball. It’s amazing how I used to take for granted all the simple movements my body could do – not anymore!

Life In The Country ~

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