Please know that I may go into a lot of detail that may seem a little repetitive at times, but to me, this is how I remember what had happened. I need to get this out for me, so if you find the writing a little weird or dragging at times, it's just how it needs to be.


continuation .........

October, 2002

The horse was still loose in the arena and Kale was still screaming and crying. I told Shane to get the horse so I wouldn’t be in danger of it coming near me again. He said it would be fine but I insisted he do something with it. Knowing I couldn’t move made me very nervous to have the animal running free so close to me. After Shane grabbed the horse and tied it up he came back to me and asked if I could move. I told him no but he thought I just had the wind knocked out of me. I said no it’s more than that. You need to get me help. He told me to just try to relax, catch my breath and then try to sit up. I said “No, Shane, you need to get me an ambulance.” Once I finally made him understand that I knew I was hurt he told Kale to run to Grandma’s house and tell her what happened and to have an ambulance sent right away.

Thinking back, I can’t even imagine what my little four year old boy went through and what he was thinking as he ran about a quarter of a mile all by himself to the house.

I should point out that Trevor and I and the kids had moved to South Dakota from Minnesota and we were having a hard time finding a place to buy or build. Mom and Dad were kind enough to let us move in with them until we got settled in a place of our own. With the events that unfolded, it couldn’t have been a better situation.

When Kale reached the house Trevor could tell that Kale sounded like he was in a very traumatic state and ran up the stairs to ask what was wrong. About all Kale could get out was that Mommy was hurt by a horse. Trevor told him to go tell Grandma and he jumped in his truck and raced to the barn. Kale relayed the message to my Mom and she called for an ambulance.

In the mean time, back at the barn, I laid on the fine layer of sand in an enormous amount of pain lying partly on my side. It was so painful lying like I was but I couldn’t move to get more comfortable. I wasn’t allowing myself to cry because I knew it would have only made things worse for Kale and Shane. Shane is a volunteer fireman and so while we waited in the arena we heard the ambulance being dispatched on his pager. This was a big help for me knowing help was on its way and listening to everything that was being said. I tried to keep my sense of humor to help relax Shane because I knew he was feeling so responsible and awful for what happened. So, I said to him, “I really hope my underwear is clean.” Of course he didn’t realize I was joking with him at first and he told me that’s nothing I should be worried about right now. I told him I was just kidding and he did get a little smirk on his face, however, I don’t think he thought it was very funny at the time. We did laugh more about it later.

When Trevor arrived at the riding barn he stayed by my side while Shane took the horse back to the other barn and moved his truck to make room for the ambulance. When Shane returned we listened to his pager and heard the ambulance driver state they were almost on site. Other area volunteer firemen, who are neighbors, overheard the page and went to the end of our driveway to make sure the ambulance didn’t miss the driveway and got to us quickly.

When the EMT’s arrived they put a neck brace on me, which I new wasn’t necessary but was required anyway. When they put it around my neck they also inadvertently scooped in a bunch of sand, horse hair, and whatever else had landed on that ground over the years. Like my body wasn’t uncomfortable enough, I now had that stuff irritating me too. They cut off my cowboy boots and part way up my pants. Next they wanted to get me on a flat board so they could lift me up and on the stretcher. The thought of someone moving me scared me because of all the pain I was in and because I knew I couldn’t move. I told them to let me try to slide onto the board first, but when I tried I couldn’t get my body to move correctly. Since I was unable to do it they had to move me unto the board. Someone grabbed up by my shoulders and someone down by my feet. When they slid me unto the board and laid me completely on my back, my whole bone midsection kind of collapsed. The pain was so intense but I still refused to cry. They lifted the board unto the stretcher and off to the ambulance we went. The stretcher going across the bumpy ground was so terrible, I could hardly stand it. Trevor jumped in the front of the ambulance with the driver and off we went.

Shane quickly ran to the barn to let the horses out so they wouldn’t be locked in all night and when he came out Mom and Dad and my kids had left without him. Of course they didn’t realize it till later what they did. Shane drove in to the hospital all by himself. This is about a 20 minute drive so I’m sure he had so many feelings and thoughts running around in his head of what had just unfolded. Since it was Wednesday night, he stopped by our church to tell my sister what had happened and to have people begin praying for me and then he went directly to the hospital.

In the ambulance, I had never felt so uncomfortable and in so much pain in my life. Every little tiny bump that we went over was so incredibly awful. That board was so hard that the whole way I held on to one of the EMT’s hands and squeezed as hard as I could. I was actually trying to hold pressure off my waist by pushing or lifting my body up with my elbows. It was the only way I could find that gave me any relief from that board. I don’t remember how many times they poked me trying to start an IV but failed to get the needle in my vein. I’m sure it was at least four times. Of all the needles I despise those the most. Since they couldn’t get an IV I couldn’t get any pain medicine either. Literally, right before we pulled up to the emergency room, they finally got the IV needle in. Thank goodness!

Again, all the movement and bumps of getting me out of the ambulance and into the ER about made me pass out from the pain that the hard board caused me. Right away they took ex-rays and then got me some morphine. I could feel the morphine go all the way through my body. It at least helped me to be able to relax from trying to hold myself up off the board. By now my arms were shaking from getting week from the pressure.

One of the hospital employees saw how hard this was for Kale and gave him a stuffed bear. Kale has slept with that bear every night for almost five years. Just this summer he finally said that he didn’t need it anymore. He said it was something he could cuddle with and a special thing for him that helped him know Mommy was going to be okay.

Out in the waiting room my family sat patiently along with some people from church that had heard about what happened. Needless to say they were praying for me.

The doctors reviewed the ex-rays and counted the breaks and fractures in my bones. There were six in all. I had parts of bone that weren’t attached to anything anymore which is why when they put me on that board my pelvis basically collapsed. The Dr.'s were shocked that I didn't have any internal bleeding (usually this kind of bone breakage has a lot of bleeding involved) and only one little bruise on my leg which I think came from the saddle hitting me. After the Dr.'s sent me in for an MRI and reviewed it, they were thinking of having me sent to Minneapolis because they were unsure of what the next step should be. The thought of that brought tears to my eyes. I didn’t want to be sent away from my family. This, of all times, was a time I needed them to be right with me.


to be continued again.......



Sorry, to keep doing this to you, but this is all I have wrote so far. Wait till I tell you what happens next. Yes, it gets worse. I'll try not to make you wait so long this time!