Tuesday, April 24

Last Tuesday started out like any other day, until about 2:15 in the afternoon. My brother Shane, and I had just chased a cow up to the barn with the two 4 wheelers and we both saw Grandpa backing out of his garage and heading down our long driveway. We both knew he was heading into town for his afternoon coffee and thought nothing of it. Shane and I went back down the pasture to get the calf and then brought it back up to the barn. We were in the barn trying to get the calf to drink when Shane's pager went off (he's a volunteer fireman). He tossed it to me so I could turn it down so the cow wouldn't get startled. I listened to hear what was coming across the pager when I realized that the address that was being reported was only about two miles from the farm. They said there was a vehicle that had gone off the road and the person inside was unconscious, and that they couldn't get the doors open and needed something to break the windows. I told Shane that he needed to go right away, that we'd probably be the closest to the accident. Neither of us even considered it to be Grandpa, because over the pager they were saying it was a female. Shane took off in his pick-up and sped down the road to the scene. I ran to Mom's house because I realized I still had Shane's pager and thought if I got the address wrong I needed to be by one of our business band radios to let Shane know. I was standing by my Mom's door and we were both listening to what was coming across the pager when the phone rang. Immediately I had a gut feeling it was Grandpa. My Mom answered the phone and she couldn't hear anything but beeping noise. She hung up and the phone rang again immediately. It was Shane and all he said was - "It's Grandpa!" She hung up and told me and we (Mom, Nikia and I) got in my suburban and speeded to the scene. I told Nikia "Do not get out of this vehicle, you have to stay in here!" and then Mom and I jumped out and ran out to where the pick up was (out in a field about 35 yards). As we were running out there, Shane and another guy were just pulling Grandpa out of the pickup and laying him down in the field.

To back up just a little bit...when Shane got to the scene he had it in his head that it was a female and never even thought twice about what the vehicle looked like. He ran to the vehicle and another guy was there talking to 911 and handed Shane a big 'ol bar to try to break the window. This other guy had already tried to hit the window about 20 times and couldn't get it to break. So Shane grabbed the bar and went to swing it and that's when he first noticed it was Grandpa. It totally startled him. He had to hit the window 3 times before he could get it to break. He unlocked the doors, ran around to the drivers side, opened the door and started to holler and shake Grandpa. He was still unconscious. He tried for a pulse and couldn't get one. Then they pulled him out of the pick-up.

Mom and I stood two feet from Grandpa and watched as they hooked up the defibrillator and as my brother tried to do CPR on him. The defibrillator shocked him once but still no heart beat. They continued to try CPR until the ambulance arrived, which seemed like forever, but I was told later it got there pretty quickly. They rolled him onto a flat board and carried him to the ambulance where they continued to do CPR all the way to town.

By the time I got back to my Suburban Nikia was screaming terribly. She had sat in the vehicle and watched everything. My Mom just held and hugged her trying to calm her down as I was driving trying to catch up to the ambulance. Shane had also jumped in my vehicle too. Nikia just kept on repeating "Grandpa's dead, Grandpa's dead." I figured I had probably just ruined my daughters life for what she had just witnessed. While I was in the field I was trying to call Trevor but couldn't reach him. My sister finally reached him and he caught up behind us. We pulled over so he could take Nikia - I didn't want to take her to the hospital. Trevor said she just kept repeating the same thing over and over. He asked her what she all saw and she described everything very specifically. It took her a long time before she finally settled down.

When we all finally got to the hospital, they informed us that they never did get a heart beat and that he was gone. It was so hard to accept. He wasn't sick or anything. His morning had been just like every other morning. I had just seen his pick-up leave the farm.

This has been so hard for me not only because I constantly see flashes in my head of them pulling him from the truck, my own brother breathing into his mouth, - just everything!

I grew up seeing Grandpa literally everyday. He only lived about 150 yards from my house. I have countless memories of my Grandpa and now, just like that, he's gone. My Grandpa was a real cowboy. He lived and breathed the cowboy life. It wasn't an act or for show, it's who he was. Anybody can wear a cowboy hat, but it doesn't make them a cowboy. He was the only true cowboy I've ever known. I miss him so much and every day is still really hard for me.

I want to thank you all for your very kind thoughts and prayers. It really means more than you'll ever know. You are all so very special to me.

22 comments:

Dawn said...

I'm so sorry, Amy, that it was so hard on all of you. Mom had told me a little bit about Shane getting him out. Thanks for sharing this, now I know a little better how to direct my prayers for you and Shane and Jo, and especially little Nikia, and of course Val and the all the rest of your family. As I said before, Ky was a special man, you were blessed to have him for a Grandpa. Lean on your family and God and know that there are many people praying for you.
Love,
Dawn

Susan said...

Oh Amy I'm so very sorry. Thanks for telling us the entire story so we can understand fully. Do they think he had a heart attack?

As hard as it is just be thankful that he went so suddenly and did not have a long, lingering, painful death. Being the true Cowboy you say he was I'm sure if given a choice he would have said "I want to go with my boots on doing my normal thing". He did.

Heather K said...

Amy, I'm so sad to hear of this awful loss in your family. Grandpas are special.... You are so blessed to have grown up in the situation that you did.. and your kids too... how special to have those roots... grandparents AND great grandparents influencing and loving them for as long as they can remember! awesome. Well I'm sorry that you all had to go through that... was it your mom's dad? It must have been really hard on her too. And little Nikia..the poor little girl... I'm sitting here crying for her... she must be just devastated... but I'm praying for you and her that God's incredible peace will just fill you both (and also the rest of your family). take care-Heather

Momma Roar said...

I am so sorry for your loss Amy. Thank you for writing the events out for us to understand better, I hope in doing so that maybe it offered some peace by being able to share it. I will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers.
((hugs))
Leigh Ann

Anonymous said...

I was out of town and didn't know the details and that you were there. I am so sorry. He was a true cowboy and many people didn't really understand horses and how they think until they met your grandpa. He was surrounded by family and I'm sure that's how most of us want our last few moments here to be spent. I'll be praying so much for you all.

Kristi

Heidi Jo Comes said...

amy,

my heart aches for your loss. i can't imagine how shocking and sad that it must be for all of you. i will lift you all up in prayer and specifically your beautiful daughter, that she would not be haunted by what she witnessed but instead honored and amazed at what loving parents and uncle she has to do everything that they could for her great-grandpa.

from a complete outsider perspective, it seems like the cowboy in him wanted to go out just the way he lived every day. it probably would have killed his spirit if he had been sick and unable to do all the daily things that he always could.

deepest sympathy. and heartfelt prayers.

Tina Leigh said...

Oh dear sweet Amy I am so so sorry for the loss of your Grandpa. Your story has touched my heart and I can feel part of your pain. I wish there was something I could do but I can only pray that God will send the Comforter to you & He will. I will be praying for your baby & family. Life can be traumatic but it is life and God will give all of you strength.

Amanda said...

Amy – I am so unbelievable sorry for your loss. You’re Grandpa sounds like a WONDERFUL man who lived life to its fullest potential and never took one day for granted. What a great lesson for us all – never take a single breath for granted.

Hang in there sweetie and know that you and your family have been in my thoughts and prayers. I’ll especially pray for Nikia that her mind is at peace with her Grandpa’s passing. God bless.

Just Mom said...

My deepest sympathy to you and your family, Amy. Give your children -- especially Nikia -- a hug for me.

Anonymous said...

I lost my grandpa in a very similar way. I loved him with every bit of who I am. My heart can totally understand what you are going through.
God is the healer of the heart and the source of our strength.
You and your family are in my prayers.

Jen said...

Amy~
I am so sorry for the events that happened on that day. Poor little Nikkia, that is so hard on them at that age. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Frazzled Farm Wife said...

You are so lucky to have grown up seeing your grandpa as often as you did. I am sure you have many great memories to hold onto. I have been praying for your family and will continue to do so.

Lori said...

I'm so sorry for your loss Amy.
I will continue to pray for you and your family.

Thanks for sharing what happened with us.

Jane said...

I am praying for your family...

Tracy said...

Amy, I am so very sorry for what your family has gone through. I pray for little Nikia and the strength for her to overcome what she has witnessed. I have been thinking of you often. Hope you are doing okay considering...

Jamie said...

Thanks for sharing your story and I am very very sorry for the loss of your Grandpa! Grandpa's are just special guys that can not be replaces. I feel so bad for your daughter! Give her an extra hug for me!

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this hard time.

Teresa said...

I have been thinking of you all so often these days since your grandpa's death. You continue to be in our prayers.

Christie Belle said...

Amy, I am so, so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. It is so hard to lose a loved one unexpectedly. Hang in there, girl. And again, I'm praying for y'all.
Big hugs,
Christie

Kerrie said...

Amy - I wept at your story. I can't imagine how you all must have felt, the sadness, the helplessness, the anxiety, the fear. I pray that you'll cope with what you've been dealt - and then heal.

Thinking of you and your family in your time of sorrow.

Rita Loca said...

Oh Amy! I am so sorry for your loss and the manner you had to see it all! I am praying for you. I have not been able to read as many blogs lately due to a move , so I just found this out. God Bless you!

Debbie said...

Oh, Amy. Thank you so much for sharing these difficult details. I am so terribly sorry for the loss of your wonderful grandfather. He was so much a part of your life so the loss must be so great for you. I will pray for God's grace for you and your family. You'll need Him to carry you through this time.

Diana said...

Amy,
I can't imagine what you and your family went through and I am sorry you had to witness and lose your grandfather. I don't know what to say but just know that I am sad for you and I know your grandpa is in heaven. I will pray for you and your family.